I feel like my house looks.

I have always noticed that I feel like my house looks.

If I am stressed out and tired. The house is a total disaster. And then I go into crazy cleaning mode which I have to say scares my husband a little. However, it is productive self-therapy.

I run around with a look of terror to anyone who gets in the way of my goal to clean the place up from top to bottom. Don't sit around and watch me either..you better get in there and work your butt off because I am working my butt off.

The scariest part about this whole thing is this is exactly what my Mother does. I am turning into my Mother! I hated it when my Mom went into crazy cleaning mode. My sister and I would literally run to our bedrooms and start cleaning out of total fear.

I should give this alternate personality a name so I have something to refer to, like Mildred or Gretchen.

Any suggestions???

The five stages of grief...over a rented truck!

Since Tony and I got married we have only had one vehicle. This was mainly because I took the bus downtown to work for four years. I did this even when I had a car. It was cheaper and faster. And then we moved and I became a stay home Mom. We were close to the C-train which stops just behind Tony's office building and since I had free time being home I could drop him off and pick him up from the train most days.

Now we are in Sherwood Park. Going back and forth on weekends to Calgary and we were apart for most of the last 3 months as we got ready to move and still renovating. We really needed a second vehicle. With the budget the company gave us for the move we were able to rent a truck for the last 3 months. It gave us more flexibility and assisted with the renovations. It was a real life saver. Tomorrow we are giving it back. And we will be a one car family again. And its going to suck!

I am actually in mourning over returning the truck. I realised that I am going through the 5 stages of grief over...a truck...that was never mine to begin with.

The first stage is DENIAL. I was completely oblivious to the fact that the truck wasn't "ours" until this week when Tony reminded me he had to drop it off on Thursday. It was like it had become apart of the family.

The second stage, ANGER, set in when I realised that we chose this financially. That we set ourselves in a position that we would put everything into this house and we wouldn't buy a second car until we sold it. How could we be so stupid? Just the thought of not having a vehicle anytime I want makes me feel like I am handing over the freedom to my life away. And It is so freezing here transit is just not an option. I am not even sure what transit is like in Sherwood Park.

Then there is the third stage, BARGAINING. I could cut back on the grocery budget etc, etc. I started pitching ideas to Tony about how we could justify one more month of renting or better yet, we could lease and have a low monthly payment...or...if we just used our line of credit....and so on...

Now I am about to start stage four, DEPRESSION, I told Tony we should take a ride in the truck tonight as a family. Say goodbye. So I can have closure...

Who knows how long it will take for stage five, ACCEPTANCE. I think I may dwell in stage four until the holidays roll around so I can feed the pain with baked goods and chocolate.

Seriously, how do people who never learn to drive stand it? Take away my car keys, and your taking my independence, which is painful!

Costco = Joy

What is it about Costco that makes you feel like blowing all your money? I always go there with certain items in mind but always come home with things I didn't even know existed before I went.

Today we went to Costco to get a few storage shelves for the garage. We came home with a Red Rider toy car for my son and if they had my size...I would have had a new winter jacket. Which I still want...but I am not an XS...and I take comfort in the fact that all there was left were XS's so apparently I am not the only one who isn't an XS.

Its crazy to think you actually have to have a membership and pay money to shop at Costco. The concept of giving them money so you have the right to give them more of your money. I think that is kind of nuts. And yet...I am considering an upgrade to the executive level of memberships.

But I love Costco. Its on my top ten list of places I love to shop. That money sucking concrete warehouse of joy.

my son: and his path of destruction!

The other day I thought I'd leave the mess my son created in the house until after he went to bed. Since it felt like I was putting away the same thing multiple times anyway...why not do it just once? So after I put him to bed for the night I walked into the living room and I swear it looked like somebody had broken into our house and ransacked the place.

Today I watched my 17 month old son push a very large cooler across the kitchen floor, over to the sunken living room, push it down the stairs where it landed upside down. He then climbed on top of it, stood up, and then laughed like an evil superhero. After he was finished announcing his world domination,he climbed off, rolled it over and tried to push it back up the stairs. This he could not do...so he yelled at it for not obeying his will and moved on to the next order of destruction. Which just so happened to be taking the phone, saying "hi" a few times and then slamming it against the fridge door.

I swear he went from 16 months to "the terrible two's" almost overnight. Every room in the house he leaves behind a trail that screams, "Jacob was here!" For example, the bathroom. There are miscellaneous objects in the bath tub at any given time. This morning I found one of my slippers and a wooden spoon. He also loves to pull the towels off the rack so they are in a pile on the floor. And of course his final move before his exit is flushing the toilet once or twice.

Then he may move to a bedroom where he opens the bottom drawer and pulls every item of clothing out. Then he'll go into the closet where he likes to push back the pants and hide behind them and yank them off the hangers. Which brings us to his latest fascination...shoes.

Aside from the great joy throwing the shoes down the basement stairs does bring lately he has been really fascinated by putting items in shoes. My Mom told me she walked around with a magnetised piece of the alphabet from the fridge in her shoe once. I found his sippy cup stuffed inside a shoe. I find his sippy cup in the most hilarious spots. Once I found it in the flowerbed. Yesterday he had a runny nose so I gave him some decongestant. When I went to give it to him again before bed it wasn't on the bathroom counter where I left it (sealed tightly of course). The little stinker can get things off counter tops now. And guess where I finally found it? That's right, inside a shoe in my bedroom closet! Now when I can't find something, my first thought is to start holding any available footwear in an upside down position and shaking out its mystery contents.

I would love to hear your kid's destruction stories too...

All I want for Christmas...is to finish my house...and sell it...

So we have been renovating our house in Calgary since the first week we moved into it. That was almost 2 years ago. I brought a new baby into a place with torn down walls and exposed floor boards.

We are spending all our free time, every weekend, every free thought towards the completion of this project. And now that we are living in Sherwood Park and travelling back and forth on top of renovating...well I have to say this, just when I thought things couldn't get any harder they certainly did.

Even though, I know in the end it will be good for us. It seems it came at a sacrifice. I looked in my son's baby book and I haven't written in it for a few months. There is a 4-6 week gap on the digital camera of time where I didn't take a single picture of him too. And the photos are sparse before that.

So thinking about this today I decided that spending countless hours chasing after the ball he has thrown down the stairs and recovering every single toy he decided should go in the bath tub or better yet in my closet...isn't so mundane. It wasn't so bad chasing him around when he knew I was going to change his diaper. Or to turn the TV off for the hundredth time after he's gone and turned it back on.

I've been so consumed with this house I feel like I have been missing out. And I don't want to miss anymore.

So all I want for Christmas is to finish this house. And sell it. So I can have all the annoying day to day activities back in my life that I thought I could live without before.

we moved in the wrong direction

And when I say that we moved in the wrong direction. I mean, literally moved in the wrong direction. Since we moved North from Calgary to Edmonton it has done nothing but snow and be windy and cold. Calgary you ask? Chinooks and above zero most of the time.

We moved into a place where the sidewalk and driveway are as big as the house!

So I get the shovel and think to myself...I am a married woman. Didn't I get a husband so I'd never have to mow the lawn, shovel a walk, solve computer/ electronic problems, fix something, kill insects, or put oil and windshield fluid in my car ever again???

Meanwhile my toddler has plastered himself to the living room window in order to watch Mommy put on a good show pushing around all that cold fluffy white stuff and I hate to disappoint a dedicated audience. So I shovelled...

Now my back hurts. And guess what the best part is....it has snowed so much since I finished that I'll need to do it again this afternoon!

this makes me nervous

This totally scares me to death. This bogging business.

I am writing this blog for myself. Because I really want to find out what I have to say. I hope to be surprised and find out that I am witty and charming and that people love me and my blog and that it will be the greatest blog ever. Well maybe not ever but secretly hoping that it at least doesn't completely stink.

I am a terrible speller.

Even worse at grammer.

And absolutely atrocious at typing!

When I type I actually prefer to do so without any capitals because pressing down the shift button at the same time as a letter is just too much work!
but then reading my blog would look something like this.
and if i ddnt' borther to do any kind of re/read and spell chekc mabye it woiuld llok somethign like this.

Hopefully, I will get better with practice.