I am a Procrastinating Perfectionist.

So Christmas...was a lot of work. And that is because I am a procrastinating perfectionist. Say that ten times fast. Its true and I think there must be others out there like me. I need therapy for this.

Trying to cook an entire turkey dinner for the first time with a toddler holding onto your legs wanting 'up, up, up!' added an extra element of difficulty to an already stressful situation. Especially since I need everything to be perfect. Frankly, I really need to let the perfectness go to hell once in a while.

I know where I went wrong. The procrastinating part of my problem. I did everything the week before Christmas. Everything! Baking, shopping, decorating, house cleaning, preparing for company, grocery shopping, cooking, wrapping, getting family photos, writing/addressing/mailing Christmas cards complete with family photos, and cooking. Even though I started late, I still had to do it all. I am crazy.

My son was given a lot of great toys for Christmas but of course they always say the boxes and wrapping paper are the best part. For him it was placing a long narrow box that a sports bag came in strategically over the two stairs leading down into the sunken living room and then trying to slide down it. Who needs TV when you have an 18 month old?

Well hopefully I will have the sense to re-read this blog next year and do it all differently. But I have to admit old habits are hard to break.

Once It Hits Your Lips

I have a new passion and it is for a sandwich. Its not just any sandwich its a Quiznos sandwich. Damn those things are good. My husband asked me the other day where I'd like to go for dinner and I was like, "Quiznos!" And he was like, "Again?" Not very romantic but tasty and affordable. I love the prime rib on garlic bread as well as the ceaser chicken. They toast 'em, and they roast'em, and there's melty cheese. I am getting a watery mouth just writing about them!

I would like to buy a franchise, because this place is a gold mine! Or stock...have they gone public?

So this blog is dedicated to the Quiznos sandwich, with the little hot pepper rolled into the paper, with all your delectable goodness. No turkey and stuffing being served at my table this Christmas we are having Turkey Bacon Guacamole Quiznos subs...HO HO HO Merry Christmas!

A Long Nap = A Long Night

Every time my son naps I have to decide when to wake him up. Do I enjoy my peace and quiet and let him take a long nap and then let him stay up really late at night? Or do I wake him up and deal with his crankiness from being woken up but enjoy a longer evening with my husband?

It never seems like an easy choice, especially if he was up in the night for a few hours like last night he was up from 3:00am to 6:00am and he only fell back to sleep because I took him into the spare room so I could lie down with him. Then he fell asleep directly in the centre of a double bed like a star fish (he's definitely my child because if I could sleep any which way that would be how). So I am crammed up in the corner and incredibly uncomfortable and I really want to leave him there and go back to my own bed. But there is a problem.

My husband's alarm goes off around seven and it is almost seven. So if I go back to my bed I have to endure listening to him press snooze several times until he gets up and then proceed to get dressed and make noise and turn the bathroom lights on. I tried lying down but in 5 minutes I knew if I drifted off he'd be waking me up. So I did what any rational woman would do on 4 hours of sleep. I got up and unloaded and re-loaded the dishwasher, swept the floor and did a once over with a swiffer wet mop. Oh yeah, I also washed the dishes left in the sink.

By then my husband had surfaced and left for work so I went back to bed where I fell into a Mommy coma where 90 minutes later I woke up to a toddler yelling for me because he was awake...and I was like...ALREADY??? I was only asleep for 5 minutes or what felt like 5 minutes.

And now I am supposed to go and wake him up when I have had 2 hours of peace and actually managed to get all my Christmas cards written, stuffed with photos, addressed and sealed? And I just want more of this lovely quiet that is in the house. Yeah, I am thinking he can sleep a little longer. But I know I will pay for it later...

Who's Reading This?

I am always wondering who is reading my blog. I get very few comments but my counter shows that people have stopped by and I am curious are they my friends? Or are they strangers that just like to read what's out there.

So please if you stopped by let me know who you are and where you're from. Its nice to know who your audience is. I'd also like to know your favorite blog if you are an avid reader.

I appreciate the feedback.

The Oven is About to Run a Marathon

I like to do Christmas baking and I like to do all kinds of different baking. But this year I am responsible for Christmas at my house which means, I am also doing the whole shebang so I need to get organised and narrow down the most important items.

Gingerbread cookies. Should I do a house, round cookies or full out people? I do get joy out of taunting each cookie about which limb is going to be eaten first. Oh come on, we all do it. Poor little gingerbread man just lost his head! Ha, ha, ha, munch, munch, munch munch.
So gingerbread people it is...

Sugar cookies. Very time consuming but I only do them once a year. Maybe I will lighten the effort by doing it in stages. One day make the dough, another day bake a few dozen, then anther day when I have friends over get help icing them. Who wants to come over and ice cookies?

Shortbread. Can't do it. The butter content alone just screams don't do it! I don't know, my Dad loves shortbread as does my husband. I am on the fence about this cookie.

Nuts and bolts. Had them growing up every year at Christmas time. But now it kind of seems like a throw back to the 1970's party snack. But I need something savoury. Any ideas?

And then Christmas dinner...apparently its all about the stuffing. So I am going to do the standard family recipe change it up with a few different kinds of bread. I also want top make a trendier apple and dried cranberry kind. I am a huge Barefoot Contessa fan. She recommends a sour cream and Parmesan mash potato recipe I am going to use. I haven't decided on the vegetable. I was thinking roasted brussel sprouts and carrots. And of course the turkey. The only thing I can't seem to do regarding the turkey is tie it correctly. Some birds look like they have been in bondage. I just tuck the wings under and tie the legs shut.
This turkey roasting is starting to sound like dirty talk. So let's move on to Christmas morning.

Christmas morning at our house always involved Butter horns. A mashed potato dough bun with icing and walnuts. I actually have never made them. My Mom always made them. I think I may try them out this year. Big shoes to fill on this one. I am a little nervous.

Christmas is a lot more relaxing when your not responsible for anything and can just sit back and enjoy the goods. Who am I kidding, I love this. I absolutely know my husband falls in love with me a little more each time I make one hell of a meal. And I soak it up!

this one is dull

I have blogger's block. I am sitting here waiting for the witty juices to flow but find myself a lot more interested in the box of After Eight chocolates I bought the other day. I put them in the fridge so they are really cold, they taste better that way.

I have this deep sense of restlessness. Nothing appeals to me. I am listless and yet everything I am doing to be productive and fill my day seem like nothing. Its like I am a kid and I am whining to my parents, "I'm bored," like they are somehow responsible for my entertainment. Then your parents give out all these ideas of things you could do which usually totally suck like, clean your room, or help with the chores. Not even getting ready for Christmas or all the unpacking I have left to do from the move seem to remotely appeal to me.

What's wrong with me? I shouldn't have the time to feel this way. I am not even finding joy from blogging. I always love a good blog session.

I need more After Eights...

boo hoo poor me

My son is teething. The whole process of getting teeth is very slow and painful for him. Most kids his age have twice as many teeth as he does which is a shame because he likes to eat and I am tired of mashing everything up.

Last night I couldn't get him to sleep until almost midnight. He woke up at 7 am on the nose. He usually needs 10-12 hours at night. I gave him a bottle and tried cuddling him back to sleep. But when I tried to put him back in his crib it was like trying to put a cat in a bath tub.

The thing about his sleepless nights is not only is the night shot. So is the day, because he is tired and cranky and takes a big nap because he hardly got any sleep. And I am exhausted and feeling unmotivated so the whole day is a waste. Especially if it goes on for several days in a row.

I just have to say, I am really tired of being tired.

Conversation With a Treadmill

So we moved a couple months ago. Since then my treadmill has been in pieces on the basement floor surrounded by boxes. This weekend my husband cleared some room and put it together for me. Now its staring at me and I can't make it stop.

Its all, " why aren't you running on me?"

And I'm all, " cause I'm lazy and out of shape!"

Then the treadmill gives me a dirty look and says, " well that's not going to change until you pay me a little attention 3-5 times a week."

And I'm like, " be quiet you expensive reminder of my unfinished goal of running a marathon or I'll turn you into a laundry rack like last time!"

Yeah...that shut it up...I can't stand being taunted.

Random wishes

I wish I had a British accent. I have a sister in law from London and I could listen to her talk all day.

Last night on the news they talked about a strong tornado in Britain. They interviewed different people that experienced the disaster and the various homes that were destroyed. It was the most lovely and sophisticated tornado of all time by the sound of their voices.

Even when they are using foul language they sound so proper you hardly even realise they are even swearing. When I get mad I wish I could get away with saying things like "wanker" and "bloody hell."

That would be awesome.

I'm not cool anymore.

My purse used to be small. It had make-up and a palm pilot. Now it always has a Ziploc bag with animal crackers, a couple of diapers, wet ones, and a wallet bigger than the purse I used to carry.

I avoid all clothing items that need special care. I don't have time for that anymore. Special care = shrunk, discolored, or wrinkled and never ready to wear. I also avoid white. It just never stays that colour very long.

I need low maintenance hair cuts. Comfortable clothes. If I wore high heels I would kill myself when I chased after my kid. When I listen to the radio I have no idea most of the time who is singing the song.

When I was a teenager I always said to myself that I would always stay in the game of what's hot and what's not. What can I say? My priorities have clearly changed.

I wanted to do a cleanse anyways...

So my son came down with the stomach flu on the weekend...which meant I have the stomach flu...and its just a matter of time until my husband gets it.

When you don't have children you know that being sick is miserable. But then when your sick and your child is sick. You have to clean them up, change their bedding, pajamas, and diapers a million times in between your own sprints to the bathroom. You just didn't realise how good you had it being able to lie in bed and watch all the TV you wanted in those ill, child-free days.

All I have to say if it wasn't for Baby Einstein videos , 7-up, and soda crackers. I don't think I'd be alive today.

Well it can always get worse. I am learning that all the time.

My workout philosophy.

So I bought this new workout video.

I thought since its cold outside and my freedom is limited with the vehicle downsizing that I should do something at home when Jacob is napping. The video is called Get Ripped. I saw it in the store, and I thought, 'I would like to get ripped.' My post baby body has extra motion to it when I stop moving and I don't really like that.

So I popped in "Get Ripped..Slim and Lean" so I could watch it through and learn how to do the weight lifts properly and make sure its not over my capability level. Before you know it I am 60 minutes into it kicking back on the couch eating M and M's. And just when the instructor is really feeling the burn I thought I needed something to drink. So I washed down those peanuts with a little Diet Coke.

Hey, it was diet coke....

I really need to re-think this strategy of mine.

I feel like my house looks.

I have always noticed that I feel like my house looks.

If I am stressed out and tired. The house is a total disaster. And then I go into crazy cleaning mode which I have to say scares my husband a little. However, it is productive self-therapy.

I run around with a look of terror to anyone who gets in the way of my goal to clean the place up from top to bottom. Don't sit around and watch me either..you better get in there and work your butt off because I am working my butt off.

The scariest part about this whole thing is this is exactly what my Mother does. I am turning into my Mother! I hated it when my Mom went into crazy cleaning mode. My sister and I would literally run to our bedrooms and start cleaning out of total fear.

I should give this alternate personality a name so I have something to refer to, like Mildred or Gretchen.

Any suggestions???

The five stages of grief...over a rented truck!

Since Tony and I got married we have only had one vehicle. This was mainly because I took the bus downtown to work for four years. I did this even when I had a car. It was cheaper and faster. And then we moved and I became a stay home Mom. We were close to the C-train which stops just behind Tony's office building and since I had free time being home I could drop him off and pick him up from the train most days.

Now we are in Sherwood Park. Going back and forth on weekends to Calgary and we were apart for most of the last 3 months as we got ready to move and still renovating. We really needed a second vehicle. With the budget the company gave us for the move we were able to rent a truck for the last 3 months. It gave us more flexibility and assisted with the renovations. It was a real life saver. Tomorrow we are giving it back. And we will be a one car family again. And its going to suck!

I am actually in mourning over returning the truck. I realised that I am going through the 5 stages of grief over...a truck...that was never mine to begin with.

The first stage is DENIAL. I was completely oblivious to the fact that the truck wasn't "ours" until this week when Tony reminded me he had to drop it off on Thursday. It was like it had become apart of the family.

The second stage, ANGER, set in when I realised that we chose this financially. That we set ourselves in a position that we would put everything into this house and we wouldn't buy a second car until we sold it. How could we be so stupid? Just the thought of not having a vehicle anytime I want makes me feel like I am handing over the freedom to my life away. And It is so freezing here transit is just not an option. I am not even sure what transit is like in Sherwood Park.

Then there is the third stage, BARGAINING. I could cut back on the grocery budget etc, etc. I started pitching ideas to Tony about how we could justify one more month of renting or better yet, we could lease and have a low monthly payment...or...if we just used our line of credit....and so on...

Now I am about to start stage four, DEPRESSION, I told Tony we should take a ride in the truck tonight as a family. Say goodbye. So I can have closure...

Who knows how long it will take for stage five, ACCEPTANCE. I think I may dwell in stage four until the holidays roll around so I can feed the pain with baked goods and chocolate.

Seriously, how do people who never learn to drive stand it? Take away my car keys, and your taking my independence, which is painful!

Costco = Joy

What is it about Costco that makes you feel like blowing all your money? I always go there with certain items in mind but always come home with things I didn't even know existed before I went.

Today we went to Costco to get a few storage shelves for the garage. We came home with a Red Rider toy car for my son and if they had my size...I would have had a new winter jacket. Which I still want...but I am not an XS...and I take comfort in the fact that all there was left were XS's so apparently I am not the only one who isn't an XS.

Its crazy to think you actually have to have a membership and pay money to shop at Costco. The concept of giving them money so you have the right to give them more of your money. I think that is kind of nuts. And yet...I am considering an upgrade to the executive level of memberships.

But I love Costco. Its on my top ten list of places I love to shop. That money sucking concrete warehouse of joy.

my son: and his path of destruction!

The other day I thought I'd leave the mess my son created in the house until after he went to bed. Since it felt like I was putting away the same thing multiple times anyway...why not do it just once? So after I put him to bed for the night I walked into the living room and I swear it looked like somebody had broken into our house and ransacked the place.

Today I watched my 17 month old son push a very large cooler across the kitchen floor, over to the sunken living room, push it down the stairs where it landed upside down. He then climbed on top of it, stood up, and then laughed like an evil superhero. After he was finished announcing his world domination,he climbed off, rolled it over and tried to push it back up the stairs. This he could not do...so he yelled at it for not obeying his will and moved on to the next order of destruction. Which just so happened to be taking the phone, saying "hi" a few times and then slamming it against the fridge door.

I swear he went from 16 months to "the terrible two's" almost overnight. Every room in the house he leaves behind a trail that screams, "Jacob was here!" For example, the bathroom. There are miscellaneous objects in the bath tub at any given time. This morning I found one of my slippers and a wooden spoon. He also loves to pull the towels off the rack so they are in a pile on the floor. And of course his final move before his exit is flushing the toilet once or twice.

Then he may move to a bedroom where he opens the bottom drawer and pulls every item of clothing out. Then he'll go into the closet where he likes to push back the pants and hide behind them and yank them off the hangers. Which brings us to his latest fascination...shoes.

Aside from the great joy throwing the shoes down the basement stairs does bring lately he has been really fascinated by putting items in shoes. My Mom told me she walked around with a magnetised piece of the alphabet from the fridge in her shoe once. I found his sippy cup stuffed inside a shoe. I find his sippy cup in the most hilarious spots. Once I found it in the flowerbed. Yesterday he had a runny nose so I gave him some decongestant. When I went to give it to him again before bed it wasn't on the bathroom counter where I left it (sealed tightly of course). The little stinker can get things off counter tops now. And guess where I finally found it? That's right, inside a shoe in my bedroom closet! Now when I can't find something, my first thought is to start holding any available footwear in an upside down position and shaking out its mystery contents.

I would love to hear your kid's destruction stories too...

All I want for Christmas...is to finish my house...and sell it...

So we have been renovating our house in Calgary since the first week we moved into it. That was almost 2 years ago. I brought a new baby into a place with torn down walls and exposed floor boards.

We are spending all our free time, every weekend, every free thought towards the completion of this project. And now that we are living in Sherwood Park and travelling back and forth on top of renovating...well I have to say this, just when I thought things couldn't get any harder they certainly did.

Even though, I know in the end it will be good for us. It seems it came at a sacrifice. I looked in my son's baby book and I haven't written in it for a few months. There is a 4-6 week gap on the digital camera of time where I didn't take a single picture of him too. And the photos are sparse before that.

So thinking about this today I decided that spending countless hours chasing after the ball he has thrown down the stairs and recovering every single toy he decided should go in the bath tub or better yet in my closet...isn't so mundane. It wasn't so bad chasing him around when he knew I was going to change his diaper. Or to turn the TV off for the hundredth time after he's gone and turned it back on.

I've been so consumed with this house I feel like I have been missing out. And I don't want to miss anymore.

So all I want for Christmas is to finish this house. And sell it. So I can have all the annoying day to day activities back in my life that I thought I could live without before.

we moved in the wrong direction

And when I say that we moved in the wrong direction. I mean, literally moved in the wrong direction. Since we moved North from Calgary to Edmonton it has done nothing but snow and be windy and cold. Calgary you ask? Chinooks and above zero most of the time.

We moved into a place where the sidewalk and driveway are as big as the house!

So I get the shovel and think to myself...I am a married woman. Didn't I get a husband so I'd never have to mow the lawn, shovel a walk, solve computer/ electronic problems, fix something, kill insects, or put oil and windshield fluid in my car ever again???

Meanwhile my toddler has plastered himself to the living room window in order to watch Mommy put on a good show pushing around all that cold fluffy white stuff and I hate to disappoint a dedicated audience. So I shovelled...

Now my back hurts. And guess what the best part is....it has snowed so much since I finished that I'll need to do it again this afternoon!

this makes me nervous

This totally scares me to death. This bogging business.

I am writing this blog for myself. Because I really want to find out what I have to say. I hope to be surprised and find out that I am witty and charming and that people love me and my blog and that it will be the greatest blog ever. Well maybe not ever but secretly hoping that it at least doesn't completely stink.

I am a terrible speller.

Even worse at grammer.

And absolutely atrocious at typing!

When I type I actually prefer to do so without any capitals because pressing down the shift button at the same time as a letter is just too much work!
but then reading my blog would look something like this.
and if i ddnt' borther to do any kind of re/read and spell chekc mabye it woiuld llok somethign like this.

Hopefully, I will get better with practice.